Funniest Times of the Junkyard (for Misto-Forever's Contest)
by CatFanGirl
Summary: I chose to do the collection of one-shots for my entry! Rated T because...well...I'm a teen. Pretty self explanatory. Please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

It was a sunny day in the middle of summer. It was also sticky, muggy, and HOT. Everyone was sweating and inside their dens. Except for the kittens and rumpleteazer.

"READY OR NOT HERE I COME!" Rumpleteazer cried. She had volunteered – not really – to play with the kittens. Actually, Rumpleteazer had gotten in trouble with her adoptive father, Skimbleshanks yesterday. To relieve her punishment (don't want to know) she had to watch the kittens.

"Electra! Found you! You too Cettie!" Rumpleteazer quickly found all the kittens. Electra, Etcetera, Jemima, Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, Victoria, and Plato.

"We're bored Rumple! What can we do?" Tumble and Plato whined. Rumple started thinking quickly and immediately came up with one of her best pranks ever.

"Alright everyone, I've got a plan. In my opinion, Munk and Quaxo need a prank played on them..." All the kittens huddled around Rumple as she excitedly told them her plan...

* * *

"Everybody ready?" Rumple whispered. "Tumble, Pounce, net?"

"Check!" Tumble and Pounce whispered.

"Electra and Etcetera, have you got the darts?"

"Check!" The queen kits smiled.

"Vicky and Plato, have you got the...surprise?" Rumble sniggered.

"Check!" Plato winked.

"Tumble and Pounce, go set up the trap. Electra and Etcetera, go to the planned hide-out. Victoria and Plato, head to right above the trap. Jemima, stay with me until we get the signal." Rumple ordered, very much like a military officer. "Vicky, here's the flashlight for the signal. Flash it twice in the air when your all set up.'

"Yes ma'am!" Vicky said, pulling her paw into a salute.

"Go!" Rumple whisper-cried.

* * *

Jemima came bounding up innocently (looking) to Munk and Quaxo who were sitting on the tire, looking over the Junkyard.

"Daddy! Quaxo! I want to show you something! Can you come see it?" She asked bounding around like the adorable kit she is.

"Honey, you know I'm working." Munk said, with a reproachful look at his daughter.

"Please daddy?" Jemima pleaded with her signature 'Jemima Eyes.' (0.0)

"Come on Munk. Nothings' happened all week. Let's humor her." Quaxo said, reasoning with Munk. He was curios what Jemima wanted.

"Fine. Let's go." Munk said with a smirk on his face.

"Yay! Follow me!" Jemima said, bounding away.

* * *

Jemima bounded into the (seemingly) empty clearing. In reality, Victoria and Plato were perched next to Rumpleteazer with their 'surprise.' Etcetera and Electra had their blowguns aimed right at the trap spot. Tumble and Pounce were facing opposite each other, holding ropes. As soon as Munk and Quaxo entered the clearing, Jemima led them right into the center of the trap.

"Stand right here. I have to grab the surprise." Jemima told them.

"We'll be right here, Jem." Munk told her, wanting to please his daughter.

As soon as Jemima left the clearing, Rumpleteazer yelled, 'NOW!' and Tumble and Pounce both pulled on the strings they were holding. All of the sudden, a net held both Munk and Quaxo. They yelled (Quaxo screamed like a girl, as Jemima giggled to Rumpleteazer)

"Go, Electra and Etcetera!" Rumple yelled across the clearing.

"What now?" Munk cried out before he and Quaxo were hit with darts.

"What...the...hell...is sticking out...of your shoulder?" Quaxo asked Munk swaying slightly.

"HEHE YOUR A PANDA! I'VE NEVER MET A PANDA BEFORE!" Munk screamed at Quaxo and gave him a 'bear' hug. Then they hit heads and blacked out.

"Victoria, Plato...it's your turn." Rumple smirked mischievously. The two said kits nodded and got to work.

* * *

_Ohhh...my head hurts. What happened? _Quaxo thought. He lifted a pink paw to his head. _Wait a second...a PINK PAW? RUMPLETEAZER!_ He quickly stood up and ran to Munk's den.

"MUNK! What did they do to you?" Quaxo yelled, bursting into his den. Munk was racing around the room, purple with yellow stripes.

"We have to go get Rumpleteazer and the kittens." Munk said.

"Yes." Quaxo agreed, his paws sparkling. "Let's do this."

* * *

CFG: HEHE I'm amazing.

Quaxo: You suck.

CFG: *giggles* I KNOW!

Quaxo: Alright, who gave you sugar?

CFG: *giggles while prancing in circles* ME! I ATE SOMETHING FROM MY MAGICAL CANDY STASH! *sprouts a tail and gallops away* MEOW!

Quaxo: Oh crap. MUNK!

Munk: What?

Quaxo: We need the pencil, computer keyboard, leotard, flowers, table, and car tyre!

Munk: She ate THAT candy?

Quaxo: Yup. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

It was BJ's birthday. He wont tell us how old he is though...I wonder why. Anyway, there was a huge feast laid on the tyre. Strassburg Pie, Caviar, many dishes of cream, potted grouse ,salmon paste, and Argentine Joint. The Joint was requested by Mungojerrie. Tugger was flirting with all of the queen and queen-kits. Jerrie and Teazer were sitting off on the side, semi- watching Quaxo perform magic for the entertainment. BJ, Old D, and Gus were sitting on the TSE-1, observing everyone. Jenny and Jelly were guarding the presents, making sure none of the kittens touched them. Other than that, it was quite and peaceful. Casually, and VERY SLOWLY, Old D stood up.

"Jellicles! Today we celebrate the birthday of our dear Bustopher Jones. To start off the festivities, everyone help themselves to the wonder feast made by our very own Jenny and Jelly. May the eating begin." When he finished his speech, he sat down on the tyre to avoid the rush of Jelllicles's lining up. Cettie, Electra, Pounce, Tumble, Teazer, Quaxo, Jerrie, Jemima, and the rest of the cats behind them.

"God, Teazer, I'm hungry. GO FASTER PEOPLE! OI'M HUNGRY!" Jerrie yelled.

"He's hungry again. He's such a a-hole when he's hungry." Teazer whispered to Tumble and Pounce. For the next 10 minutes, they had to endure Jerrie whining and Teazer telling him to shut up. Finally, Jerrie was at the end of the line.

"Thank God! Let's eat everyone!" He crowed, clearly excited.

"Mommy, can I please deal with him? Please!" A small kitten asked, clearly annoyed.

"Go ahead, kitten." Demeter smiled, excited that her Jemima was coming out of her shell. Jem ran over to Teazer. Once she caught up to her, Jem whispered in her ear with a smile on her face. When she pulled away, Teazer had a mischievous glint in her eyes. Slowly, she started creeping towards the Strassburg Pie and picked it up without anyone noticing but me. Then she crept right above Jerrie, who was hitting up Electra.

"FOOD FIGHT!" She crowed, dumping the Pie on top of Jerrie's head, whos face – I migh had – was priceless. His mouth was wide open, and so was his eyes. He grabbed a piece of potted grouse and threw it into the general direction of Teazer, who ducked. Instead, it hit Pounce on the head. Eventually everyone was throwing food at each other, including BJ, Gus and Old D!

-LINE-

"That was an...interesting...birthday, BJ." I told him, surveying the scene. Every cat was covered in food and on the ground, laughing and talking.

"Interesting is an understatement, Demeter." BJ said, laughing softly.

"That's true. So, whats next?" I wondered out loud.

"Alright everyone! LETS GO SWIMMING!" Teazer yelled, running in the direction of the Jellicle Swimming pool. All the kittens, hyper on sugar and yelling battle cries, ran behind her, creating a stampede.

"I have to go watch them. See you later BJ." I told him, jogging after the screams of wet kittens.

* * *

CFG: HA! I knew that Jemima could be evil!

Jemima: What happened to the Jemima that was sweet and innocent? I liked her!

CFG: Too bad. BTW, has anyone read Raising Rumpleteazer? GREAT STORY PLEASE READ! Seriously though, i want someone to continue it. ARGHHHH! *storms off in fit of rage*

Cettie: *peeks head in* Is she gone?

Jemima: Ya, she just left.

Cettie: YES! Going to go raid her MAGIC STASH! *runs off*

Jemima: Review while I save her sorry butt! *runs off after Cettie*


	3. Chapter 3

As we all know, MungoJerrie and Rumpleteazer almost look exactly alike. Rumple does have more white on her fur, but who pays attention to that? Cori didn't. Just the same, always pay attention to the detail of the queen you like...

-LINE-

Cori has had a crush on Teazer for YEARS. Everyone knew it, from Tantomile to Jenny and Jelly to Electra, the youngest kit. The only person who DIDN'T know was Teazer, who, by the way, was THE most popular queen in the Junkyard. But isn't that how it always works? Oh well. You'll learn the story soon enough.

-LINE-

_Cori! Why don't you just ask her out on a date! Seriously, stop making go-go eyes at her and ask her out!_ Tantomile mind-told Cori. _You like her, I read your feelings._

_ Dammit Tanto! I TOLD you not to do that! _Cori said back, blushing furiously. Sometimes he hated that they were connected at the mind.

_Too late._ Tanto smirked. She loved that they were connected at the mind. _Come on, let's go to my den. I'll help you get ready. _

**-AT TANTOMILE'S DEN-AND A TIME SKIP-**

"Alright. Your ready. I saw Teazer and Mungo sitting in the Northwest yard. You'll be fine." Tanto told him. "Head on out there!"

Cori left the den with a flower in his paw. _Im ready! I can do this! Just ask her out. You can do this. _Cori told himself.

_Shut up and do it already! _Tanto told him. She was eagerly watching from Cori's view in her mind.

_OMG TANTO GET OUT OF MY MIND! _Cori mind-screamed at his twin sister. He then blocked her so that he couldn't hear her in his mind. _Alright Cori. You can do this. Breath._ Once he calmed down, he started walking towards Teazer. And Mungo.

**-BEFORE CORI GOT TO THE MEADOW-**

Teazer and Mungo were sorting through the latest loots. It had been a very successful heist. Together, they managed to get 3 books, 2 necklaces, 5 jewels, medicine, bandages, and other items.

"Hey Mungo. I'm going to go give the bandages and medicine to Jenny and Jelly. Be back soon. Stay here and watch the other stuff until I get back." Teazer said, bounding away from the clearing, leaving Mungo to sun on the box.

**-BACK TO CORI NOW-**

_YES! Mungo left. Now I can make my move. He shouldn't be back for a while. Time to move in, Cori. _He took a deep breath and started heading towards the calico pelt of stripes lying on the box.

"Hey! How are you doing?" Cori asked sweating and blushing furiously.

"Im...fine, I guess." Mungo said, obviously confused. _Why is Teazer's voice so low? It doesn't matter. Don't bring it up, it may hurt her feelings! Ask her out now. _

"Um...so do you...wanna go to...you know...to dinner or something?" Cori asked, stammering through the whole sentence. Mungo's eyes got very wide. Cori hurried to finish. "Teazer, I really liked you and I always have. Please just give me a chance? I won't let you down!" Cori finished, his eyes pleading. Mungo started laughing so loud that the actual Teazer came running.

"MUNGO! Why are you laughing so hard? Cori? What are you doing here?" Teazer asked super confused and covered in bandages.

"WAIT. YOUR NOT TEAZER?" Cori yelled despeartly at Mungo.

"Ya...Im...Mungo...not...Teazer..." Mungo tried to say, but he was laughing so hard he couldn't breath. Cori looked around in horror and ran off towards Tanto's den.

"What's so funny?"


End file.
